Well, finals started today. I feel like all I do is sleep, wake up, go to work, study, study, study, take a final, repeat.
Basically it sucks.
But at the same time, I'm really confused that this school year is already over. This semester went by ridiculously fast. And even though I really want to go home, another part of me doesn't want to give up my first year of college. Because I feel like I got robbed and only got a semester. This year really went by that fast.
At least now chemistry is over, and tomorrow developmental psyc will be too, and then A&P 2 and new testament. So weird. I don't even know what to think.
Next semester I'll be in nursing school . Yeah, really weird.
BTW, if you are feeling down and want good music to listen to, Hope now by addison road, or desperate from fireflight or cannons by phil wickham are all fantastic picker-uppers :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
19
So yesterday was my birthday.
I've grown up with birthdays being a big deal. Every single year I have a birthday party, normally that my mom starts planning at least 3 months before. And they're always the coolest, best parties of the year.
I hadn't even thought about what it would be like this year, with me being away at college and everything.
I knew that I was going to do something at my house once I got back from school, and I figured I would just kinda chill on my birthday, study for finals that were 2 days away.
However, on Friday, when I was going with some of my friends to go hang out, I walked into a room full of balloons and found out they had been planning a surprise birthday party for me and my friend Sidni. :)
It was at this lady's house that has tons of arcade games, and we played and ate and just had fun. It was really exciting for me because I've never had a surprise party before.
So then I went to my boyfriend's house Saturday and Sunday to be with his family since it was his dad's 50th and his brother's 21 birthdays the week before. They ended up celebrating there's on Saturday, and mine on Sunday. They made me cake and made me wear a birthday girl ribbon and got me presents. It was unexpected but fun, once again :)
So by the time my birthday actually came around on Tuesday I felt like I had already gotten more birthday than most people. At midnight 4 of my friends called and sang me happy birthday, and another friend texted me. I had 21 texts by the time I woke up at 730. Kelley posted a video on my facebook of her singing happy birthday to me. Almost 100 people put it on my wall. I was tagged in 2 statuses about it being my birthday. I had 5 phone calls of people singing to me. I was slipped 2 cards under my door of my dorm from people in my dorm. My RA's had written it on the door of the lobby. I was given a bouquet of flowers.
Then my mom and brother picked me up after class and took me to the Alamo Drafthouse, a movie theater where they serve you a meal during it. We saw the back-up plan and ate potato skins and cheese sticks. It was awesome.
Then we met up with JM and went to Cracker Barrel, and they gave me a free ice cream sundae.
You would think that "my day" would be over now, but I still get to go home and eat a meal just of my favorite appetizers (my idea, brilliant right?) and open my bday presents. Basically, this birthday just might last till I'm 20.
Honestly though, I've had a hard time lately. The attention was really good for me. Yesterday, when I would start to get upset or depressed or my mind just start wandering, I would think hey, today is my birthday. today is one day that I can call mine. And all that stuff would go away and all I could do is smile. So I kind of hope it does last till I'm 20. And then that one can last till I'm 21... And then that one could last....
I've grown up with birthdays being a big deal. Every single year I have a birthday party, normally that my mom starts planning at least 3 months before. And they're always the coolest, best parties of the year.
I hadn't even thought about what it would be like this year, with me being away at college and everything.
I knew that I was going to do something at my house once I got back from school, and I figured I would just kinda chill on my birthday, study for finals that were 2 days away.
However, on Friday, when I was going with some of my friends to go hang out, I walked into a room full of balloons and found out they had been planning a surprise birthday party for me and my friend Sidni. :)
It was at this lady's house that has tons of arcade games, and we played and ate and just had fun. It was really exciting for me because I've never had a surprise party before.
So then I went to my boyfriend's house Saturday and Sunday to be with his family since it was his dad's 50th and his brother's 21 birthdays the week before. They ended up celebrating there's on Saturday, and mine on Sunday. They made me cake and made me wear a birthday girl ribbon and got me presents. It was unexpected but fun, once again :)
So by the time my birthday actually came around on Tuesday I felt like I had already gotten more birthday than most people. At midnight 4 of my friends called and sang me happy birthday, and another friend texted me. I had 21 texts by the time I woke up at 730. Kelley posted a video on my facebook of her singing happy birthday to me. Almost 100 people put it on my wall. I was tagged in 2 statuses about it being my birthday. I had 5 phone calls of people singing to me. I was slipped 2 cards under my door of my dorm from people in my dorm. My RA's had written it on the door of the lobby. I was given a bouquet of flowers.
Then my mom and brother picked me up after class and took me to the Alamo Drafthouse, a movie theater where they serve you a meal during it. We saw the back-up plan and ate potato skins and cheese sticks. It was awesome.
Then we met up with JM and went to Cracker Barrel, and they gave me a free ice cream sundae.
You would think that "my day" would be over now, but I still get to go home and eat a meal just of my favorite appetizers (my idea, brilliant right?) and open my bday presents. Basically, this birthday just might last till I'm 20.
Honestly though, I've had a hard time lately. The attention was really good for me. Yesterday, when I would start to get upset or depressed or my mind just start wandering, I would think hey, today is my birthday. today is one day that I can call mine. And all that stuff would go away and all I could do is smile. So I kind of hope it does last till I'm 20. And then that one can last till I'm 21... And then that one could last....
Monday, April 26, 2010
Stress
So a lot has been happening in my life lately. And I'm not going to lie, a lot of it has been hard. In fact, just about all of it has been hard. I've been struggling with a lot. With one blow I got my self-esteem and all my confidence taken away, and lost trust in someone I had really trusted. With my insane school load on top of that my stress level has gone through the roof.
I guess I actually went into little depression for a while. It was bad. I probably gave my mom multiple gray hairs. I had 3 tests during this time, which was last week, and now I have finals THIS WEEK, plus I had a test today. Absolutely no time to recoop.
Needless to say, life has been hard. I'm learning forgiveness,and let me tell you, it's hard. I just want it to go away, but I know cop-ing out won't help anything.
I just flipped my Bible open yesterday and read the first thing I came to. And let me tell you, God showed me just what I needed.
Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships, and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience, and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as imposters; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.- 2 Corinthians 6: 4-10.
Fantastic, isn't it? So much of that applies to my life and gives me hope. I have to remember God to have any hope, because when I'm not, all my thoughts are depressing.
But it's all going to be okay. This is going to be okay. This is going to teach me something that I will be grateful for later. I just have to look at it that way.
I guess I actually went into little depression for a while. It was bad. I probably gave my mom multiple gray hairs. I had 3 tests during this time, which was last week, and now I have finals THIS WEEK, plus I had a test today. Absolutely no time to recoop.
Needless to say, life has been hard. I'm learning forgiveness,and let me tell you, it's hard. I just want it to go away, but I know cop-ing out won't help anything.
I just flipped my Bible open yesterday and read the first thing I came to. And let me tell you, God showed me just what I needed.
Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships, and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience, and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as imposters; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.- 2 Corinthians 6: 4-10.
Fantastic, isn't it? So much of that applies to my life and gives me hope. I have to remember God to have any hope, because when I'm not, all my thoughts are depressing.
But it's all going to be okay. This is going to be okay. This is going to teach me something that I will be grateful for later. I just have to look at it that way.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
pick 2
I really haven't written in a while, because life is chaos. I have so much going on.
I had seen a bumper sticker on facebook once that said
"1.good grades
2.decent amounts of sleep
3.social life
in college, you can only pick 2."
What's amazing is, that could not be more true. I mean I've got plans with friends every night, who I'm not going to see over the summer so I really want to hang with them while I can.
I require sleep. That's not even a joke, this endometriosis crap makes me need a good amount of sleep or I'm in pain the next morning. Speaking of which I get to schedule my surgery in 2 weeks. Joy!
And the worst part is, school has gone insane! I have a test on Friday, a test on Monday, a test on Tuesday, and then a practical on that next Monday. Now, that could be managable, if finals didn't start that Thursday. I mean, honestly people?? 8 tests in 2 weeks?!
I can't even stay on here any longer, I need to study and then meet Jenna at the lake. And then watch Lost with Rebecca. And then... And then... And then...
I had seen a bumper sticker on facebook once that said
"1.good grades
2.decent amounts of sleep
3.social life
in college, you can only pick 2."
What's amazing is, that could not be more true. I mean I've got plans with friends every night, who I'm not going to see over the summer so I really want to hang with them while I can.
I require sleep. That's not even a joke, this endometriosis crap makes me need a good amount of sleep or I'm in pain the next morning. Speaking of which I get to schedule my surgery in 2 weeks. Joy!
And the worst part is, school has gone insane! I have a test on Friday, a test on Monday, a test on Tuesday, and then a practical on that next Monday. Now, that could be managable, if finals didn't start that Thursday. I mean, honestly people?? 8 tests in 2 weeks?!
I can't even stay on here any longer, I need to study and then meet Jenna at the lake. And then watch Lost with Rebecca. And then... And then... And then...
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