doubts

Today for me was like a dream day for any college student. I had:
gone to Wild West, which is a country dancing hall in Waco that all the UMHB students go to every Thursday the night before
Danced the night away till 2
Spent the night at a close friend's apartment
Not had class
Woke up after 12
Went to the quad with a blanket, my laptop, math study cards and a couple of friends and chilled for a couple hours
Played with a friend's puppy
Had amazing fresh frozen yogurt at the store down the street
Enjoyed the 75 degree weather with the Texas blue sky
Right when I thought I had nothing to do, got a call from a great friend who invited me out to eat with him
Then went to a coffee house and hung out
Then went to another friend's house and watched a movie

All in all, a pretty rocking day. And yet in the midst of this day, satan was really messing with me. I was feeling so conflicted even while I was smiling. Cause somewhere in the back of my head, satan was planting these doubts in my head I had either never had, or not had in a very long time.

New doubts like: this math is going to be really hard on you. You have to do it for the rest of your life. Other people think it's easy but for you it's hard. You're too lazy for this career.

Nursing is really hard, the most difficult time-consuming major at this school. You won't be able to really enjoy the rest of your college career after this semester, but everyone else will be. Without you. Maybe you should just change your major. I mean seriously, did you even want to do this with your life?

This mission trip is already a lot of work. Did you even want to go in the first place? You're going out of your way to get all this stuff done and you already have too much to do. You shouldn't even be enjoying this, you should be shut in your room studying.

This guy doesn't like you, and he really hasn't this whole time. There's a whole slew of girls after him, and you never knew it. He just wanted to let you down easy, but didn't really know how. Now there goes the first crush you've had in 3 years, and he doesn't like you. I wonder if you'll be getting married before you die, or if you're just gonna have to settle after all the good ones are taken. Ones you could have had, if you weren't too busy focused on this one bad one.

I was thinking about the last one tonight, when all of the sudden those other ones came to mind. And I realized, you know what. I have some thinking to do. Maybe some big decisions to make. But all in all, God is the one in charge of my life. And I need to remember to let him take control every day, through my attitude and my thoughts, and remembering to live without regrets. We'll see what happens. But I love my Jesus. He can get me through anything.