Love

I really like kids.
I've dreamed of being a mom for well, as long as I could remember.
And I don't really know if I want to have kids myself, or if I want to adopt. I've already realized that adoption would probably be there no matter what though. Even if I had my own kids. Because God has placed it on my heart for seriously years.
I do not understand why people who cannot have kids don't adopt. As a matter of fact, I've kinda got this thought. Now this is just a thought so take it how you like, but what if woman who really want kids but can't get pregnant can't get pregnant because God wants them to adopt?
To me it just makes sense.
Anyway, being as I'm no where close to getting married and therefore reallyyy no where close to having kids, I had really felt like I needed to "adopt" a kid from another country.
My family had done this before, we had a little girl named Ingrid. We don't sponsor her anymore though because we got a letter saying that she no longer needed to be sponsored.
But I really felt that I needed to do this. That I needed to make the money sacrifice (cause for me, a broke college student, $38 a month truly is a sacrifice).
At revival today, they had some kids that you could choose to sponsor. And I got one.
I got this beautiful little girl named Eliana. She's four years old.
And as soon as I got her, this weird thing like, washed over me. And as dumb as this might sound, as soon as I held that piece of paper, I loved her. Like, genuinely loved her.
I feel as though she is mine. Giving that money seriously seems like no big deal anymore. As long as she is safe and has food and clothes and medicine, I'm thrilled.
I know that seems dumb that I could feel that way over a little girl I've never even met, but it's true.
It made me think of how much I'm going to love my own kids some day.
And that made me think of the fact that as much as I love this little girl, and I love my family and my friends and my future kids, every single thing... God loves me more.
He's the one that gave me that feeling that washed over me and took me by surprise.
He's the one that made me to His own specifications so He could love me completely for who I am.
I love Him so much, but He loves me so much more.